Most children look forward to Christmas or Birthdays - opportunities to get presents.
When I was a 9-year old kid, it was always about Valentine's Day. If my life was a Rocky movie, Valentine's Day would be the big fight at the end of the movie against a steroid-pumped, muscle-ripped, Russian where I was the underdog not expected to win, who who was ready to take whatever blows V-day gave me and come back for more. All the training, all the hours in my room writing songs or poems were setting me up for that day on the big stage with the whole world looking on where I could declare with passion that I loved a woman... Well, not exactly. More like the day that I was in front of some 9-year old girl who had no idea what I felt, sweating like crazy in my incredibly itchy school uniform, staring at my impeccably tied shoelaces, praying that the words that came out my mouth were actual words..and preferably ones that wouldn't make me want to skip this birth and be reincarnated instantly. Oh and when I said the whole world watching, I meant my mom...
All the marketing behind Valentine's Day creates a lot of hype. But, none of it was bigger than the hype in my head. I was made for this day. Most guys I know don't have many ideas for Valentine's Day. At nine, I had way too many!
The girl that I liked was named Anushka (at least that's the name I am giving her to prevent my friends scrolling through my list of friends on Facebook after reading this). She was my best friend's sister and she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. Of course, she had no clue that I liked her.
I had seen her from afar. Actually, I was in the same room as her at her birthday party, but it felt like there was she was in a galaxy far far and away...She was surrounded by her group of girlfriends singing Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time" in perfect unison and I...was standing by the toilet, alone, staring at her, mezmorized by her smile as she sang in slow motion:
"Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel et-er-nity"
I was in love. I had to talk to her. I wanted to talk to her,
but on that day I did nothing. I didn't end up feeling "et-er-nity."
Only "stu-pid-ity."
But, Valentine's Day rolled around and I decided enough was enough, it was time to step up as a man, declare my eternal love for her (or at least say "My parents are taking my friends and I to Pizza Express. Want to join?").
So I reviewed my options. I could have got hired Tom Cruise and the fighter pilots in Top Gun to write her name in the sky, I could have called up the band known as Boyz II Men and asked them to back me up in "I'll make love to you" or I could do what I ended up doing - writing her a card.
But this was no ordinary card. No. I purposely chose a blank one, so that I could create something unique, something special, something she would never forget.
Well, I achieved that.
The card read:
Dear Anushka,
Happy Valentine's Day!
You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
I love you.
Love,
?
I didn't want her to know it was me, but I wanted her to know it was me. So, I decided to give her a hint. I lived in Belgrave Square in London. So, I added:
PS. I live in a square in London where the first part of the name is something you ring on Sundays. The second part of the name is where people die.
That's right! I wrote "a place where people die" in a Valentine's Day card!!!!
That was my master plan! And so I sent what I thought was a Shakespearean Sonnet..
Well, weeks went by and nothing...Didn't hear from her. My friend wasn't sure if she got the card or not. I was ready to give up hope until one day when I was at my buddy's house playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out on his brand new Nintendo.
After having my ass kicked again, I decided to use the bathroom (which was outside her bedroom). I charged for the toilet praying that I would avoid all social interaction, but as I flung open the scared doors to freedom, I heard her say something that I have remembered for the rest of my life - "Hey."
"Oh hey", I calmly responded.
"So I got your card."
"Oh really? My card?"
In my head, I am thinking - "How did she know? I was so foxy!"
"Yes. The one you sent for Valentine's Day."
I don't know if it's possible for an Indian boy to actually go red, but I went purple!
My incredible urge to pee before my bladder burst was not nearly as painful that awkward silence that I initiated. But, then Whitney's words "all of my dreams are a heartbeat away and the answers are all up to me" echoed in my heart. I felt a sudden surge of confidence, the same strength that Simba had in the Lion King to climb Pride Rock and reclaim his kingdom. This was my time! My time! The answers are up to me!
"Oh...that card." I coyly replied.
"It was sweet! Thank you."
And she kissed me on the cheek. Smiled. And disappeared into her room.
No moment brought me more joy in my nine years of existence than that moment.
I was in such a state of Nirvana that I don't recall ever going to pee.
I had waited all year for this moment...and I could feel, I could feel..."et-er-nity"
I loved Anushka and she didn't resent me!
Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope this day is not just a day that you share your love with your love, but is a reminder that the moment in time to express how you really feel is available to you every second of every day this year...and so is the courage to take it.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lao Tzu
Thank you Whitney Houston for transforming my life and my ability to express how I feel through your message and your music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYFHAvULvJ0
♥
Love and Laughter,
Anand
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